I'm trying to learn how to draw straighter lines between where I am and the things I want.


X Words

The words came fast

If not furious




They stacked themselves upon each other

And tumbled

Into exclamation points

I Wish

I'd Slowed Down

I Wish

I'd Found Focus

I wished

Many things

I could never come to

Half assed wishes



Unoriginal Musings

Based on

Partially observed surroundings

I was all fractions

Squished together

In the hopes

of making a whole



I was in such a hurry to get where I thought I was going that I never took the time to realize where I actually was. - rtb

The Dream

I had the most beautiful dream last night, brought on by restlessness alone or any combination that plus the beer, wine and liquor I had consumed. I was walking in a field of low hanging trees amongst which dozens of butterflies fluttered around. Large beautiful creatures with intricately patterned wings. The leaves of the trees, like large lilly pads, hung just above eye level from which beauitful pink and purple orchids were growing. Beneath them hung bulbs like balls of silk from which butterflies were hatching. Sliding out between the sinuous thread and unfolding their wings for the first time to fall free and dance into the sunlight. Flying everywhere. Flying for the first time and forever.



If you don't have ridiculous dreams you'll never have realistic results.


Not Yet

Because I’m not ready

You’re not ready

It hurts

The way frustration hurts

The way sadness informs

Subterranean and dark

Did you feel good when you woke up

that you spoke up

that you vented

That you told me why

The why matters

My fingertips still trace paths

And my heart still remembers rhythm

I feel it and I felt it

hanging onto it

but just barely

the way water runs off a peach


79 Words

He sang to her. Willingly if not lovingly. Or vice versa. She didn't cry though she could have. The tears standing at the ready. Eye muscles prepared to work from memory if not from need. If they loved each other they would stay that way forever. But forever wasn't their problem. Theirs was very much an issue of now. But neither would let the other exist there.


75 Words

He sank into his chair like an oreo into hot pudding. He heard them laughing, crying out his name in between theirs gasps for breath. He sank lower. His eyes shut of their own unencouraged ambition and he pressed his teeth against each other as though to make diamonds. He held his breath without realizing it and then opened his eyes to the empty room. They had left, if they'd ever been there at all.


The Battle

Half the battle is not finding the right answers, but finding the right questions.



Creativity for me was like a thread that hung off my sleeve for the first 25 years of my life. It was always there. Tickling me. Letting me know it was there. But it wasn't until I tugged on it that I realized I would never be able to stop.


It Begins

I'm thickening my skin
Building my armor 
Plates of steel and iron
Coating myself against it all
Protected defended

too much
I won't feel anything
no point
No sensation at all

So I am thickening my skin
With leathers and pelts
stronger skins than mine
Tied closely fitting snugly over me
a newer better improved me

But still yet
I won't be able to move or stretch
Bend or flex 
an immobile version of myself 
I won't even be myself

So I am thickening my skin
Though I am not quite sure how
I will think it thick
Imagine it tougher
Make it what it needs to be
What I need it to be
Want it to be 
For me to be
Who I want to be.


rich Rich poor Rich

Though affluent with her love
I felt hollowed out and muggy
Her love around me
Rising up in me
And cloudy
Like a haunting in my chest
Like a memory with a scratch in it that won't stop skipping
The same line over and over again.
Like a mint that was made of razors
Like an orgasm made of possiblies
Like a sweetness born of acid rain
Like a smile born of apathy

Like tears made of gravel
Like sadness made of honey
Like a maybe made of definitely
Like a definitely made of never
Like the love we made together
Like the sex we never had
Like the sex we made together
Like the love we never had
Like the pot you smoked that I didn't
Like the fear I inhaled that you hadn't
Like an insecurity built in Roman times
Like a seasonal laughter's end
Like a fire carved in yesterday
Like a bitterness carved in stone
These memories are my albatross
These memories haunt me endlessly
And they won't leave me alone.


Come to Connecticut

I’ve been invited to share my thoughts on things
Me, a master of singularity and unpurchased rings
But what I have to offer is written in sand
I’m a boy, a man, a mixture of things I don’t quite yet understand
And yet I speak louder than some, much louder than most
But I fear prostheltizing and shy just short of boast
I forget more than I remember
And I cling to my summers well past September
And if I’m self fulfilling my prophecy
Then I’ll have to take more than partial responsibility
For allowing myself to posture and plead
For the things I know I think I need
When I’m quite sure I’m already in possession of all my tools
And should relinquish my captainship on this ship of fools
And I’ll avoid giving a life lesson
Aphoristic Metaphorical pseudo musings full of cognitive indigestion



Nuance is what makes actors great and people interesting.